Untitled Part I

The sun shone bright on that October morning as had been for the past few weeks. The weather couldn’t be argued with. The leaves had been steadily falling for a few weeks painting the world in shades of brown, orange, and red. The leaves rustled together as the cool wind rushed through them bringing a sense of a fresh new day.

Pierre rose from his rocking chair on his balcony window where he sat sipping his café au lait, watching the splendor of nature as he did each and every morning. This morning was different than most, school was closed for a holiday which meant that he could spend his day relaxing, working on his novel (to which he felt was good but that the dream of publication was a long way off), and watching NFL Network as long as he pleased.

He had been an English teacher at his small town’s high school for a little over 3 years and still loved every minute of it. He loved reading and writing but that was not his passion, his passion was to watch the children he taught grow into young men and women better equipped for the world and making it better than before they had entered it.

As he sat down to his computer, coffee in hand, he opened the file for his book and turned on his “writing music” consisting mostly of Bob Dylan and John Mellancamp. Before he could engross himself in his writing, his phone rang. It was his sister whom he spoke to most everyday. She was one of the most successful pediatric surgeons in the country. People came from all over the country for her to work her magic. Mostly their phone calls consisted of “how are you” and making dinner plans with her and her husband, but this call was different.

“You’re going out tonight,” she said.
“Hello to you too, and I hate to burst your bubble but I don’t think going out tonight is an option, Hoosiers are on tonight at 8 playing for The Bucket.”
“Record it, this can’t wait.”
“Might I ask what, it is?”
“Well, it’s more of a she.”
“Ok, you must be crazy, you know I don’t do blind dates.”
“She is a one of my new nurses and she is perfect for you. I made us reservations at Michelangelo’s, you know the little Italian place on 5th, for 7:30. Dress nice and don’t be late, you won’t regret it, I promise.”
“Yeah, okay, like the last one went so well,” he said with sarcasm.
“The last one turned out to be crazy, this one is completely normal, I gave her a complete inspection for you.”
He laughed, “fine I will be there, but if she turns out to be crazy then you are buying my dinner.”
“Deal,” she said. “Oh, I’m so happy! You all will be perfect together, but I have to go now, I have an appointment in five minutes, see you tonight!”

The cheerfulness of her voice was almost enough to make one sick but he knew that he judgment was normally pretty good with a few exceptions. As he delved back in to the imaginary world of his story, the thought of this “perfect” woman quickly faded out of his mind and was replaced with thoughts of how to deepen his characters.

As he prepared his self for dinner he glanced in to the mirror for a quick once-over. He was a normal sized man, about 6’ 1”, with dark blonde hair almost the color of maple wood, his eyes were blue with a light tent of blue to them. His cheeks had a slight flush of pink to them but his skin was in excellent condition. If one examined his closely they might notice the slight bump on the bridge of his nose where he had broken it during his childhood playing baseball with his dad. He knew at the moment that he was not meant to be an athlete. He had wished he had been athlete for the sheer fact that he would be in shape. Motivation to work out was hard for him to come by; he felt that he could lose some pounds to look better. In most people’s eyes he was about the right size but he believed otherwise.

The clothes he chose for the evening presented him as a man of class, dark gray Armani pinstripe pants with a light blue Armani dress shirt. He opted out of the tie for the sheer fact he didn’t feel like putting on just for it to choke him and make him sweat more than he already would.

The picture he got of the girl on the way over there was one of those girls who talks non-stop about the most useless subjects and just likes to hear them self talk. They tell you about their best friends in grade school and what they though about wearing that night and then they would laugh at their own jokes with one of those high pitched squealing laughs the made you wish that God had blessed you to be deaf. No matter how uninterested in them you wear they always said that they felt a connection between you and that you should go out again and when you didn’t call them because they were in fact crazy you became the biggest jerk in the world and all of their friends knew to stay clear of you which was probably for the best since anyone who would be friends with girl would have to be crazy as well. He was just looking forward to going back home and probably watching his Hoosiers lose another game and just relax before he had to get up for work.

Me and 1984

I don't really have much to say today except one thing that has been bothering me. Examine yourself. Don't change how you act depending on who you are around. Be true to your self, and your friends for that matter. Be humble and sensitive to others but don't pull a 180 to be like them or around them. Don't change how you treat people when others show up either, its just rude ha ha. I am in this same boat.

Here is me speaking to myself, don't be so sensitive to the way people talk to you or the jokes they make, they may not mean harm, that is just who they are.


On a different note, I just finished reading 1984 by George Orwell and I would strongly recommend that you read it. There is much to be learned about the progression of the utopia we call America. The vision of the world in the book is dark but I can see it coming nearer everyday. It may be an old book but it is entirely captivating and eye-opening.

A Life Twice Lived is a Life Wasted.

As we grow older there is constant pressure and advice from everyone, even those you don't know, as to what you should do with your life. These inhibitions also come from ourselves a lot of times. We experience something one way and really step off the trodden path to try something different.

A common phrase that people like to use is, "Don't burn all your bridges." so if something happens you will have something to fall back on, but I recently had a musician who gave me this advice, "Burn all your bridges," it will force you to strive for what you want and become what you want to become without the inhibitions and a chance to give up.

Recently I have felt the desire to step from the pavement to the gravel road and try things a different way. Stretch my limits and comfort zone.

If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you'll never get another one quite like it.

Anias Nin once said, "Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." To give up is to die in your pursuit of who you truly are.

A life twice lived is a life wasted.

Chasing the Wind

There are times in life when we pursue things we want. We get caught up in them only to be shot down. Once we are shot down we get right back up, wounded, and continue to chase what we want. With every shot it becomes more painful to chase after the wind. I refer to the chasing as the wind because I don't know if it can ever be grasped. We take shot after shot and i wonder how long it is until we don't get back up. The only thing I have to trust in is God. He is all I need. Trust that my chasing is not in vein, it will lead me somewhere.

A man name Longfellow once said, "Perseverance is a great element of success. If only you knock long enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody."

Blown Away

We are floating as wisps in the wind
Searching for anything
Blowing as blades of grass and flowers do

We leave of home in hope of something new
Then those warm winds of change bring us back home
Right where we began, right where we belong.

Left With Alibis and Lying Eyes

It poured harder than it had ever poured before. The storm was unbearable. The long black locks of his curly hair were dripping wet and were no longer curly. His skin had the growth of a week on it turning his normally beautiful skin into patchy garden through which the tears fell. His head lay in a puddle on his pillow. His body curled up and shaking. In his hands he held clenching a jewel worth the world to him.

He had been so tough his whole life. He was massive, toning his body everyday. He had experience the pain of tattoos covering his back and biceps. He had even experienced the emotional pain of loosing friends to car crashes, drug, and the military.

When they met he thought she was perfect. The complexion of her skin as smooth as silk was perfect, not too pale, but not too dark. Her hair was the color of the sands and the beach and it hung loosely in front of her face cover one of her eyes until he hand brushed it away revealing a pair of eyes as blue as brightest oceans rimmed in the darkest regions of space. Upon her nose were sprinkled the lightest of freckles that seemed they would fly off if she sneezed. The smile on her face was like a knife slashing at his heart. As she sat there reading she bit her lower lip while still always maintaining that breathtaking smile.

Their love was perfect in every way. They were the true Romeo and Juliets of society. They were always abounding in love for each other; doing everything they could to have the best for the other.

This was his first night without her. He lay there questioning God, why? He didn’t know if he would make it through the night. He prayed prayers of anger and of questions. The life of his soul had been taken.

Deer in the Headlights

I was recently talking with a friends of mine who is on a mission trip in New Orleans and he was telling me how he felt so unmotivated because of the sheer fact there is so much work to be done and he doesn't know where to start.

Sometimes we have the best intentions of doing things but we stand there like a deer in the headlights, not knowing what to do so we get hit and unmotivated and never start.

Right now, as this is being read, a child has died from malnutrition, someone was murdered, raped, a child was abused mentally, physically, and sexually, girls are sold as sex slaves, HIV killed another victim, a child's life is torn apart by divorce, the pornography industry continues to make its billions of dollars, millions on child pornography and violating women in ways that disgust me to think about, a mother throws away her baby as if it is trash, people are tortured and brutally killed for their beliefs.

This is a disturbing thing to think but it is all real. I sit here using wireless Internet on a $2500 laptop while the world around me is in such need. One billion people on earth live on or less than $1 per day while we can work and make $6 per hour for flipping burgers. Where are we to draw the line at living a happy and full life and becoming victims of a massive consumer society?

To look at these problems seems overwhelming and too big to tackle, and if we do nothing then they won't be tackled. If we just stopped staring into the headlights and moved into action we could make the world a better place. If we band together to make this world a better place and stop giving thousands of our dollars a year to the consumer society and give them to people who actually need them we could transform the world.

The problems are all over the world, even in the utopia we call America. I hope it disgusts you when you go over the list of problems I presented and makes you cringe when you think of those things happening to little innocent children. For a small sacrifice of our personal paradise we can help others around the world to know what it is to be loved and have someone reach out to them as they lay naked in the dirty streets and help give them something they have never had, love.

Bread for the World is a very good organization that you should check out and pray about supporting.