Saturday, July 29, 2006

Anything?

"(It's a long way) is there anything
(For an answer) worth looking for
(Is there any news) worth loving for
(Is there any word) worth lying for
(Is there trauma) is there anything
(Or a struggle) worth waiting for
(Am I missing) worth living for
(Was the body found) worth dying for"

Dashboard Confessional - I Am Missing

That is the way I feel today. I know that there are things worth living for, dying for, waiting for, worth loving for, worth looking for, but worth lying for I'm not so sure. I have just had a very melancholy past few weeks. I am not too sure as to why, that is just the mood I have been in. I am joyful and happy, I just feel melancholy. I don't know how it is possible to have both of those feelings and emotions at once, but I do.

Now, to try and pinpoint the problem.
- Work has been rather stressful lately. I love my job, working in a bank is awesome, but when you drawer is over or short for three days in a row it really begins to get to you.
- I also thought that I was getting paid yesterday like everyone else, but since I am still a "new employee" they decided to hold my check for another two weeks. I really wish I had kept my fast food job until now so I would still have some cash flow. At this point I have no money at all. No cash, and my bank account is very close to being overdrawn. I don't mind being poor as long as I have money for gas and to eat on. My parents are spotting me some money for the time being but I hate mooching.
- I also wish I had want a few of my friends had. I want that deep emotional relationship with someone they love. I know this probably sounds stupid, but I want to have someone I can love. Not just a relationship that is a fling or only last a few weeks or months tops, I want to find the"one". I know I am still young, I have just experienced serious relationship and see married couple and I want that love so bad. I also know that my heavenly father loves me more than anything I could ever imagine and I love him with all of my heart, I just want some one to share in is infinite love with. I want a Christian girl in which we honor God with our personal lives first, but then also as a couple God is glorified in all we do, whether it is as a young dating couple or whether it is as a married couple. It also doesn't help that my heart is attached somewhere and won't let go. It really bothers me at night. It really stinks because my mind is also where my heart is and I just want to get rid of it. If I could have want Justie and Nathan had I would love it so much, perhaps not as young as them, but just that person to love like they love each other.

Now, as the next step of this process is to identify what is worth ___________ing for.
- looking for -The mysteries and conundrums of God, the love of my life, ways to find my full pleasure and satisfaction in God and on earth as long as the on earth follows the commands of God
- loving for - I am called as a Christian to love the world, by my love someone might come to know Christ, loving the world for me is not a hard one, I get along with most people
- lying for - I like the line in the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", "Speak the truth, even if it leads to your death." Lying is a sin, and as a Christian, I want to uphold my integrity as an honest, trustworthy person.
- waiting for - the resurrection, my wife (in more ways than one), God to work, He is on his own time, not man's.
- living for - God, love, bringing people to Christ.
- dying for - my faith, my friends, anyone in order to show the love of Christ to them.


Well, that feels better. There is worth in life, I am just in a slump. Anyone who would like to, is more than welcome to pray for me, call me if they want to talk, or just hang out.

"Scalpel, sutured, made whole again."

Dashboard Confessional - If You can't Leave It Be

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Pensive and Quiet

First off, the new Anathallo album "Floating World" is absolutely incredible. Everyone should at least give it a listen.

On to my real point. I haven't written in a while. In all honesty, I have had things to write about, just not the state of mind to write them. I have been so confused and very pensive these past few weeks, it is rather wierd. I have no idea why I am this way. At this point in my life I just don't know much of anything. The only thing I know is that I am to glorify God in everything that I do. My spiritual life is great. My job life is better than ever, I got a new job at National City Bank. My friends are awesome. I guess college is on its way. I feel as if the world is spinning as fast I can't focus on anything and I don't have enough time to do anything. Some days anymore seem to me as if I accomplished nothing. I have come to accept the calling of humility to Christians and don't mind being in the background as long as I am impacting the world for the good of the Kingdom in someway. Trouble is just asking myself if I am really doing that much in my life. I have been playing soccer every Monday night on the waterfront (anyone is welcome to come join us at 9p.m.) with a bunch of guys, most of which are Christians, one who isn't, and I am not sure about the random, different guys who we play with, but I try to set a good Christian example for them in hopes that they might see Christ through me. The hardest part is figuring out how to do that.

I have also been inspired by the sermon that Barb and Josh gave this past Sunday. It got me to thinking that if one were to look back at the early church in the New Testament, they would find that when one person was proclaiming the Truth, someone else was always with them, sort of like back-up. For example, Paul and Timothy were together alot. Paul and Barnabas, Barnabas and Mark, Paul and Silas, Paul and Silas and Timothy (all of this can be found in the book of Acts). It just kind of woke me up to the realization that in today's church, alot of evangelism is solo when we should be there backing our friend who is trying to minister to someone or bring someone to church. I also believe that the truest, and most effective way to show people the love of God is not by cramming the Bible down their throat, but by loving them no matter what they have done. And for other Christians, if you see a Christian hanging out with someone who gets drunk or high, don't strike them down as a sinner. If they are doing no wrong leave them be, just back them up in their ministry. I will use this common expression, "Love the sinner, not the sin".

This also leads me to another thing on my heart. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 - "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,". My main focus in that verse is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Or for those that speak Spanish, "a procurar vivir en paz con todos, a ocuparse de sus propias responsabilidades y a trabajar con sus propias manos. Así les he mandado," or French for that matter, "en mettant votre point d'honneur à vivre dans la paix, à vous occuper chacun de ses propres affaires, et à gagner votre vie par votre propre travail, comme nous vous l'avons déjà recommandé" or Chinese, "? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?". 1 Peter 4:15 also say "If you suffer, it should not be as a murder or theif or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler." Meddler being one who is in others business. I particulary like the way the New Living Translation puts it, "If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people's affairs." You see, Christians in the modern world seem to have to know evrything about every other Christian in the world. Well, I know that for me personally, I am tired of having Christians second guess me on every move I make in one area of my life in particular. If another Christian is falling into sin, it is one thing to say something and make sure that they don't fall into sin, but if it is their own personal life that doesn't relate to you or is not a sin, let them handle it.

Well, I guess I am done for the night, it is 1:18 a.m. and I have to work tomorrow but here is a little bonus question for all of you, is it possible to pray "in reverse", or to pray for/in the past and effect things in the past that have already happened. Comment this blog and tell me what you think. After a while I will blog with my thoughts on that question and my reasoning for my answer. Until then, here is a passage that shows the greatness and the glory of God, meditate on this, the image that you see in your head, the words said by the animals and elders, and the true majesty of God. Make the praises your prayer and praise to God.

Revelation 4
1After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." 2At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. 4Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 6Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." 9Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
11"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

Supremacy & Ascendancy

Supremacy
n : power to dominate or defeat; "mastery of the seas" [syn: domination, mastery]
Definition: domination
Synonyms: absolute rule, ascendancy, authority, command, control, dominance, dominion, driver's seat, lordship, masterdom, mastery, paramountcy, power, pre-eminence, predominance, preponderance, prepotence, primacy, principality, sovereignty, superiority, supreme authority, sway, transcendence

Ascendancy
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: domination
Synonyms: advantage, ascendency, authority, command, control, dominance, dominion, edge, influence, jump, leg up, mastery power, pre-eminence, predominance, prepotence, prevalence, reign, rule, sovereignty, superiority, supremacy, sway, upper hand, whip hand

I chose to put these to words in here for a specific reason. They both show the greatness of God and His power. Take almost every synonyms for the world ascendancy and replace it in this sentence: "God's ASCENDANCY is more than we could ever fathom and greater than we could ever know." Those synonyms describe our all-powerful God.

You could do the same thing with the word SUPREMACY.

One of the most inspiring books of the Bible to me is the book of Revelation. This book not only displays the Almighty in his infinite power but also shows his creatures honoring and praising him for that power.

Revelation 11:16-18 (English Standard Version)

16And the twenty-four elders who sit on their thrones before God fell on their faces and worshiped God, 17saying,

"We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty,
who is and who was,
for you have taken your GREAT POWER
and begun to reign.
18The nations raged,
but your wrath came,
and the time for the dead to be judged,
and for rewarding your servants, the prophets and saints,
and those who fear your name,
both small and great,
and for destroying the destroyers of the earth."

In this chapter recognize that God creates all things and the majesty and glory of the environment He is in was created by Him and so were all the creatures around Him.

Revelation 4 (English Standard Version)

The Throne in Heaven

1After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." 2At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. 3And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. 4Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, 6and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.
And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: 7the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. 8And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"

9And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

11"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."

These words I tell you are not a new revolution to the world. They are truths known for centuries. I am feeling compelled by the Spirit of God at this time to write these truths down and share them with other and perhaps open the eyes of the blind or the ears of the deaf.

John Piper states the power of God wonderfully in his book "The Passion of Jesus Christ". One thing Piper mentions in this excerpt is the difference between justification and sanctification, which God has been throwing at me a lot lately so please heed these words and realize the power of God contained in both words.

"The Passion on Jesus Christ" p77
By: John Piper

But the call to imitation is not the power of liberation. There is something deeper.
Sin is such a powerful influence in our lives that we must be liberated by God's power, not by our willpower. But since we are sinners we must ask, Is the power of God directed toward our liberation or our condemnation? That's where the suffering of Christ comes in. When Christ died to remove our condemnation, he opened, as it were, the valve of heaven's mighty mercy to flow on behalf of our liberation from the power of sin.
In other words, rescue from the guilt of sin and the wrath of God had to precede rescue from the power of sin by the mercy of God. The crucial biblical words for saying this are: Justification preceded and secures Sanctification. They are different. One is an instantaneous declaration (not guilty!); the other is an ongoing transformation.
Now, for those who are trusting Christ, the power of God is not in the service of his condemning wrath, but his liberating mercy. God gives us this power for change through the person of his Holy Spirit. That is why the beauty of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" are call "the fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23). This is why the Bible can make the amazing promise: "Sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law, but under grace" (Romans 6:14). being "under grace" secures the omnipotent power of God to destroy our lovelessness (not all at once, but progressively). We are not passive in the defeat of our selfishness but neither do we provide the decisive power. It is God's grace. Hence the great apostle Paul said, "I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me" (1 Corinthians 15:10). May the God of all grace, by faith in Christ, free us from both the guilt and slavery of sin.


No matter where God take you in life, or where you take yourself, always acknowledge that your Father and Creator is all powerful and able to do all things. Pray to God in the name of our holy Saviour and God who knows all things and what is best for the believer will act in accordance with his sovereign will. I leave you with a verse that should guide the life of every follower of the Way.

Philippians 4:4-9 (English Standard Version)

4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

In the Spirit of our most holy God,
Benjamin Stocksdale

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Sellersburg, Indiana, United States