Admiration

After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
– 1 Samuel 18:1-4

“Respect and warm approval.” That is the definition of admiration by the Oxford American Dictionary.

Have you ever had someone that you look up to greatly? Perhaps it was famous politician or religious leader, or maybe a rock star or a teacher you had.

Well, there are two guys to whom I look up to that are not famous and world-renowned... yet.

The first of the two that I would like to talk about is Eric Schulze. Although I am a college student and he is a high school student, I respect him and admire him more that most college people I know. Eric’s attitude towards things that happen to him, people, and just life in general are something that I strive for. For those of you who know Eric, you know that he is a rather quiet guy but a very intelligent guy. When so one rags on him or something bad happens to him, he is not one to open is his mouth and curse someone or something. Rather he is extremely self-controlled. For example, as we were playing soccer tonight, we collided and all of my weight came down on his hand, which wouldn’t have been so bad, had I not been wearing cleats. He did not say a word.

It reminded me of when Christ was being beaten and crucified and yet utter not a word, like a sheep silent before the slaughter. The way Schulze doesn’t retaliate, but rather forgives and always shows love is incredible to me. I lived with this man for two weeks in New Orleans and quickly learned how strong his faith was. Many of us, including me, preach on being like Christ and loving and yet change nothing about the way we live around non-Christians, but it is evident to me that this is one area that Schulze takes very seriously.
The verse in the Bible that talks about how blessing and cursing cannot flow from the same mouth can be seen in Eric. I thank God for letting me get to know Eric better to show me the way I should be in my life. His passion for people is awesome. I could not ask for a better brother in Christ to encourage me than Eric, even though he probably isn’t aware that he does.

The second gentleman is a good friend of mine whom I have went to school with since 7th grade. The reason I admire him is his studiousness. His desire to read as much as he can and to learn about God is incredible. I have his webpage marked as one of my favorites so I can learn from him in his studies, not only religiously, but also about anything in this world.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, it is Caleb Joseph [Brown]. Like Schulze, Caleb pushes me to be a better person and a more faithful Christian whether he knows it or not.

My prayer to God tonight was to give me the self-control, forgiveness, and gentleness that he has shown me through Eric, and the studiousness and discipline he has shown through Caleb.

If either of you reads this, I want you to know that your lives have made a difference, whether you realize it or not. The way both of you act have shown Christ to me and made me aware of things that I need to work on in my own life. Thank you and keep him first.

To anyone else who reads this, may you seek these qualities of these two great guys in your own life. Also, may God plant people like Eric and Caleb in your life to build you up and make you more in Him.

The Rest of my Mortal Life

This right here is a big step for me. I never really put down in writing what I want to do with my life, and for good reason. I usually end up changing my mind about it and pull a 180 or something.

I know that a major part of my life, if not my entire life is going to be doing mission work. Not mission work in the conventional sense of go and evangelize. I want to go to a people with a trade or a skill that I can use to better their life and show Christ's love while teaching them about God's grace and mercy.
Now here comes the tentative part. The trade I want to take with me is the skill of English. I want to go into countries and teach the people the English language. Which is why I am majorly considering secondary education as my major with my emphasis in English Literature. Which is also a good major for me since I love to read and to write as many of you have probably noticed. As a missionary, I want to give to the people in more than just one way as I said before, and English would allow me to do that. It would also make it easier for me to get into otherwise hard to reach countries because most countries will admit people who are willing to teach them to speak, read or write the English language.

Over the past two years, God has changed my heart and in these past few months my attitude towards people. I just sympathize with people so much more now than ever, I think a lot of this has to do with going to New Orleans and helping the people down there. When I see someone in need I can not help but drop what I am doing and help, and if I don't help I feel guilty for not doing what I could have. I hope that if the call of servant hood has not been put on your heart yet, that you would pray to God for it because serving others is one of the greatest things one can do and one of the most joy filling things as well. I want everyone, no matter what they have done, who they have offended, who they were, who they are, no matter what, to experience the love of Jesus Christ. It is the strongest power in this world. I have experienced it I want it to overflow from my life in to the life of others I meet. I love this quote by John Andrew Holmes -

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up."

That is so true. I know for me that when I see that I have impacted someone for the better, it makes me feel so good. Even if I am not for sure that they were impacted for Christ and even if it was just a quick helping hand to someone, it makes me feel so good to know that one day they might look back at my good deed and see Christ. I believe that when we humble ourselves and serve others with the right heart, we are in one of the closest states with Christ that we can be. His heart was love. When we make our heart into love, we are imitating Him. If the Son of the Creator of the universe, who said "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me...." had the power to do anything that He wanted to do would lower himself to the position of a servant, then shouldn't we, who are already lower that Him being that we are mere mortals, do in his likeness and serve as he served? If you continue with the rest of what Jesus said in Matthew 28:18-20 you will see that the command to serve and be a disciple unto the entire earth was right there, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I also don't believe that you have to go to a far away land to serve and be a missionary. You can be a missionary in this very land, in your own community even. There are so many needs around here and so many unreached people that help is needed everywhere. I was just asked this morning by Crossing Christian Church to start up a local mission program for their church that would allow them to get out into the community and serve. I am not just going to limit this to their church though, this local mission group is open anytime to anyone who wants to serve. The tentative name I have decided to go with for the group is Phoenix Missions. I am really in love with the mythological animal of the Phoenix. Merriam Webster defines a phoenix as: a legendary bird which according to one account lived 500 years, burned itself to ashes on a pyre, and rose alive from the ashes to live another period; also : a person or thing likened to the phoenix. A phoenix often represents immortality or reborn hope. The band Kids In The Way have a song called "Phoenix with a Heartache" and in this song, they describe Jesus as the phoenix who died and came out of the ashes to hold us and protect us.

You rose from the ashes
Like a phoenix with a heartache.
Now you're taking me away with you tonight and I know that I can't fly.
But when I'm in your arms, I'm holding up the sky.

I believe that Christ is like a phoenix, dying to save us, going to the grave, and then rising to prove our salvation. This entire mission group is going to be based on the saving power Christ's death and resurrection. Since he died and rose to save us, we owe him our lives. We ought to live as servants to Him, which is living as servants to man.

I am not only working here, I also have a huge passion to work in other countries for my mission work. And as I travel, anyone is welcome to join me in my travels (if spots on the trips I take are available), but I would also love to see PM start out as a local mission, but grow to the point where we have a group that passionately wants to spreads Christ love by occasionally travel out of our "comfort zone." I don't want to always rely on a mission agency to send me out, and tell me where to go. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I would just love to start something, something real, something personal, something passionate. Get people involved who never thought they would be involved. So, early in Phoenix Missions, I don't want to get carried away and try to go to Uzbekistan right away. Now, if that is what God calls me to do right away, then by all means send us out! I just don't want to try and go big and fast and burn out.

May God bless any missionary whether local or international, and may He guide my college life and decisions I make towards the rest of my life. Pray that he will guide you and send you where He needs you.




P.S. Those kids in the picture above were some of my kids that I taught at V.B.S. in Guyana.

College Life

Well, ever since I started college, I have been a pretty happy guy. I love it. I love school, I like my job, and I have the best friends in the world. I get kinda bored with my classes sometimes though. Music is cool because it is interactive. Logic is kinda boring and complicated. Public Speaking is to much work, just let me talk. And English is cool because all we do is talk and write.

One thing that kinda sucks, as you might be able to tell, is that I like to stay up late. I am a night owl. So, on days when I don't work, I have school so I don't really get too much sleep and am tired all the time. But, at least I am having fun.

One really awkward thing happened this past week in my English class. The teacher asked us what we thought as a class were some morals that most of the class agreed on. The comments people started making were morals given to us from the Bible, which I thought was quite interesting. Our teacher also said, "Yeah, what about the 10 commandments?" And the class all agreed. Wierd.

One cool thing that did happen the week before that, was that as I was sitting in encounter (Northside's college age worship service), I looked over and saw a kid from my English class. It was a big encouragment to me to see that I wasn't alone in my faith in my class as I had thought I was.

This past Tuesday at Encounter as Jim Veihl was giving the message, he asked us to break up into small groups and talk about the "perfect" Christian that we wanted to be/make our selves into, how we were to go about doing that, and how far along the road we were. I was in a group with Phillip Miller, Phil Turner, and two people I had ever met, James and Amanda. That 15 minutes that we spent talking was such an encouragment as well. I felt that I got to open my faith and see what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to be.

Apart from sleep depravity, I love my life.

Anything?

"(It's a long way) is there anything
(For an answer) worth looking for
(Is there any news) worth loving for
(Is there any word) worth lying for
(Is there trauma) is there anything
(Or a struggle) worth waiting for
(Am I missing) worth living for
(Was the body found) worth dying for"

Dashboard Confessional - I Am Missing

That is the way I feel today. I know that there are things worth living for, dying for, waiting for, worth loving for, worth looking for, but worth lying for I'm not so sure. I have just had a very melancholy past few weeks. I am not too sure as to why, that is just the mood I have been in. I am joyful and happy, I just feel melancholy. I don't know how it is possible to have both of those feelings and emotions at once, but I do.

Now, to try and pinpoint the problem.
- Work has been rather stressful lately. I love my job, working in a bank is awesome, but when you drawer is over or short for three days in a row it really begins to get to you.
- I also thought that I was getting paid yesterday like everyone else, but since I am still a "new employee" they decided to hold my check for another two weeks. I really wish I had kept my fast food job until now so I would still have some cash flow. At this point I have no money at all. No cash, and my bank account is very close to being overdrawn. I don't mind being poor as long as I have money for gas and to eat on. My parents are spotting me some money for the time being but I hate mooching.
- I also wish I had want a few of my friends had. I want that deep emotional relationship with someone they love. I know this probably sounds stupid, but I want to have someone I can love. Not just a relationship that is a fling or only last a few weeks or months tops, I want to find the"one". I know I am still young, I have just experienced serious relationship and see married couple and I want that love so bad. I also know that my heavenly father loves me more than anything I could ever imagine and I love him with all of my heart, I just want some one to share in is infinite love with. I want a Christian girl in which we honor God with our personal lives first, but then also as a couple God is glorified in all we do, whether it is as a young dating couple or whether it is as a married couple. It also doesn't help that my heart is attached somewhere and won't let go. It really bothers me at night. It really stinks because my mind is also where my heart is and I just want to get rid of it. If I could have want Justie and Nathan had I would love it so much, perhaps not as young as them, but just that person to love like they love each other.

Now, as the next step of this process is to identify what is worth ___________ing for.
- looking for -The mysteries and conundrums of God, the love of my life, ways to find my full pleasure and satisfaction in God and on earth as long as the on earth follows the commands of God
- loving for - I am called as a Christian to love the world, by my love someone might come to know Christ, loving the world for me is not a hard one, I get along with most people
- lying for - I like the line in the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", "Speak the truth, even if it leads to your death." Lying is a sin, and as a Christian, I want to uphold my integrity as an honest, trustworthy person.
- waiting for - the resurrection, my wife (in more ways than one), God to work, He is on his own time, not man's.
- living for - God, love, bringing people to Christ.
- dying for - my faith, my friends, anyone in order to show the love of Christ to them.


Well, that feels better. There is worth in life, I am just in a slump. Anyone who would like to, is more than welcome to pray for me, call me if they want to talk, or just hang out.

"Scalpel, sutured, made whole again."

Dashboard Confessional - If You can't Leave It Be

Pensive and Quiet

First off, the new Anathallo album "Floating World" is absolutely incredible. Everyone should at least give it a listen.

On to my real point. I haven't written in a while. In all honesty, I have had things to write about, just not the state of mind to write them. I have been so confused and very pensive these past few weeks, it is rather wierd. I have no idea why I am this way. At this point in my life I just don't know much of anything. The only thing I know is that I am to glorify God in everything that I do. My spiritual life is great. My job life is better than ever, I got a new job at National City Bank. My friends are awesome. I guess college is on its way. I feel as if the world is spinning as fast I can't focus on anything and I don't have enough time to do anything. Some days anymore seem to me as if I accomplished nothing. I have come to accept the calling of humility to Christians and don't mind being in the background as long as I am impacting the world for the good of the Kingdom in someway. Trouble is just asking myself if I am really doing that much in my life. I have been playing soccer every Monday night on the waterfront (anyone is welcome to come join us at 9p.m.) with a bunch of guys, most of which are Christians, one who isn't, and I am not sure about the random, different guys who we play with, but I try to set a good Christian example for them in hopes that they might see Christ through me. The hardest part is figuring out how to do that.

I have also been inspired by the sermon that Barb and Josh gave this past Sunday. It got me to thinking that if one were to look back at the early church in the New Testament, they would find that when one person was proclaiming the Truth, someone else was always with them, sort of like back-up. For example, Paul and Timothy were together alot. Paul and Barnabas, Barnabas and Mark, Paul and Silas, Paul and Silas and Timothy (all of this can be found in the book of Acts). It just kind of woke me up to the realization that in today's church, alot of evangelism is solo when we should be there backing our friend who is trying to minister to someone or bring someone to church. I also believe that the truest, and most effective way to show people the love of God is not by cramming the Bible down their throat, but by loving them no matter what they have done. And for other Christians, if you see a Christian hanging out with someone who gets drunk or high, don't strike them down as a sinner. If they are doing no wrong leave them be, just back them up in their ministry. I will use this common expression, "Love the sinner, not the sin".

This also leads me to another thing on my heart. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 - "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,". My main focus in that verse is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Or for those that speak Spanish, "a procurar vivir en paz con todos, a ocuparse de sus propias responsabilidades y a trabajar con sus propias manos. Así les he mandado," or French for that matter, "en mettant votre point d'honneur à vivre dans la paix, à vous occuper chacun de ses propres affaires, et à gagner votre vie par votre propre travail, comme nous vous l'avons déjà recommandé" or Chinese, "? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?". 1 Peter 4:15 also say "If you suffer, it should not be as a murder or theif or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler." Meddler being one who is in others business. I particulary like the way the New Living Translation puts it, "If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people's affairs." You see, Christians in the modern world seem to have to know evrything about every other Christian in the world. Well, I know that for me personally, I am tired of having Christians second guess me on every move I make in one area of my life in particular. If another Christian is falling into sin, it is one thing to say something and make sure that they don't fall into sin, but if it is their own personal life that doesn't relate to you or is not a sin, let them handle it.

Well, I guess I am done for the night, it is 1:18 a.m. and I have to work tomorrow but here is a little bonus question for all of you, is it possible to pray "in reverse", or to pray for/in the past and effect things in the past that have already happened. Comment this blog and tell me what you think. After a while I will blog with my thoughts on that question and my reasoning for my answer. Until then, here is a passage that shows the greatness and the glory of God, meditate on this, the image that you see in your head, the words said by the animals and elders, and the true majesty of God. Make the praises your prayer and praise to God.

Revelation 4
1After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." 2At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. 4Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 6Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." 9Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
11"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."

Supremacy & Ascendancy

Supremacy
n : power to dominate or defeat; "mastery of the seas" [syn: domination, mastery]
Definition: domination
Synonyms: absolute rule, ascendancy, authority, command, control, dominance, dominion, driver's seat, lordship, masterdom, mastery, paramountcy, power, pre-eminence, predominance, preponderance, prepotence, primacy, principality, sovereignty, superiority, supreme authority, sway, transcendence

Ascendancy
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: domination
Synonyms: advantage, ascendency, authority, command, control, dominance, dominion, edge, influence, jump, leg up, mastery power, pre-eminence, predominance, prepotence, prevalence, reign, rule, sovereignty, superiority, supremacy, sway, upper hand, whip hand

I chose to put these to words in here for a specific reason. They both show the greatness of God and His power. Take almost every synonyms for the world ascendancy and replace it in this sentence: "God's ASCENDANCY is more than we could ever fathom and greater than we could ever know." Those synonyms describe our all-powerful God.

You could do the same thing with the word SUPREMACY.

One of the most inspiring books of the Bible to me is the book of Revelation. This book not only displays the Almighty in his infinite power but also shows his creatures honoring and praising him for that power.

Revelation 11:16-18 (English Standard Version)

16And the twenty-four elders who sit on their thrones before God fell on their faces and worshiped God, 17saying,

"We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty,
who is and who was,
for you have taken your GREAT POWER
and begun to reign.
18The nations raged,
but your wrath came,
and the time for the dead to be judged,
and for rewarding your servants, the prophets and saints,
and those who fear your name,
both small and great,
and for destroying the destroyers of the earth."

In this chapter recognize that God creates all things and the majesty and glory of the environment He is in was created by Him and so were all the creatures around Him.

Revelation 4 (English Standard Version)

The Throne in Heaven

1After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." 2At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. 3And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. 4Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, 6and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.
And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: 7the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. 8And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"

9And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

11"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."

These words I tell you are not a new revolution to the world. They are truths known for centuries. I am feeling compelled by the Spirit of God at this time to write these truths down and share them with other and perhaps open the eyes of the blind or the ears of the deaf.

John Piper states the power of God wonderfully in his book "The Passion of Jesus Christ". One thing Piper mentions in this excerpt is the difference between justification and sanctification, which God has been throwing at me a lot lately so please heed these words and realize the power of God contained in both words.

"The Passion on Jesus Christ" p77
By: John Piper

But the call to imitation is not the power of liberation. There is something deeper.
Sin is such a powerful influence in our lives that we must be liberated by God's power, not by our willpower. But since we are sinners we must ask, Is the power of God directed toward our liberation or our condemnation? That's where the suffering of Christ comes in. When Christ died to remove our condemnation, he opened, as it were, the valve of heaven's mighty mercy to flow on behalf of our liberation from the power of sin.
In other words, rescue from the guilt of sin and the wrath of God had to precede rescue from the power of sin by the mercy of God. The crucial biblical words for saying this are: Justification preceded and secures Sanctification. They are different. One is an instantaneous declaration (not guilty!); the other is an ongoing transformation.
Now, for those who are trusting Christ, the power of God is not in the service of his condemning wrath, but his liberating mercy. God gives us this power for change through the person of his Holy Spirit. That is why the beauty of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" are call "the fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23). This is why the Bible can make the amazing promise: "Sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law, but under grace" (Romans 6:14). being "under grace" secures the omnipotent power of God to destroy our lovelessness (not all at once, but progressively). We are not passive in the defeat of our selfishness but neither do we provide the decisive power. It is God's grace. Hence the great apostle Paul said, "I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me" (1 Corinthians 15:10). May the God of all grace, by faith in Christ, free us from both the guilt and slavery of sin.


No matter where God take you in life, or where you take yourself, always acknowledge that your Father and Creator is all powerful and able to do all things. Pray to God in the name of our holy Saviour and God who knows all things and what is best for the believer will act in accordance with his sovereign will. I leave you with a verse that should guide the life of every follower of the Way.

Philippians 4:4-9 (English Standard Version)

4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

In the Spirit of our most holy God,
Benjamin Stocksdale